Sunday, August 19, 2007
Jealousy or envy ?
i guess she is jus one plain lucky person.
i try and try,
i try so hard.
is it so hard to keep up?
How come she even had such treatment?
or is it cuz she is the first ger?
wad is there in her?
which part of me do i lose to her?
Looks? char? attitude? behaviour?
can someone pls enlighten me?
i cant bring myself to like her,
neither do detest or hate her to the core.
maybe to me, she is jus a rival.
the person whom i'll compare my everything to.
i jus wanna win in everything.
well, im jus a bad loser; A sore loser.
i cant lose. i dun wan to.
but At times i do wonder,
have i actually lost?
Many questions running tru my head.
dunno how to get an ans.
aimlessly guessing and assuming.
shutting positive thots out.
leaving myself to drown in my own negative thots.
Guess the feeling of being loved is always nicer den loving someone.
jealous i might be,
A feeling im still trying to surpress.
I'll learn how to control it one day.
Slowly getting a hang of it.
will u think tat im petty making a fuss out of nth?
guess u might slowly get irritated.
sometimes i really jus dunno wad to say,
how to react or wad to do.
all i could do was to sit there and stone.
afraid after u knowing my reaction u might not be so honest,
as u think it might hurt me.
But i rather u be honest and not hide.
tats why i choose to hide my feelings instead.
baby, i dun mean to keep or hide my feelings from u.
but there are times when is hard to express,
words jus cant come out.
it seems to leave me speechless.
many thots run tru my head.
flashbacks of words tat i heard and read.
trying to find the best reaction to react.
but in the end all i could say was.
"dun worry baby, im ok"
sorry if i really cant be honest to tell u how i feel at tat very moment.
but im sure i'll find other ways to let u know,
wad im thinking or how im feeling.
maybe not at tat very moment,
but u'll get to know bout it.
sooner or ltr. =)
cuz i dun wanna hide anything from u.
and i wont hide anything.
``Bonggz~
